21/365. A loner

sejak akhir-akhir ni, terasa saya berjauhan, makin jauh dengan manusia-manusia. saya melarikan diri? oh tak. tapi selalu je rasa macam takde orang ambil kisah pasal saya.

haihh, susah bila berfikiran macam ni. saya sendiri tak pasti kenapa jadi macam ni. sedih ke, tak ke, takde manusia pun peduli wahai pemilik tuan blog ini. ok, sekarang, saya rasa macam saya ni je yang menjauhkan diri sendiri dari orang. *macam tu pulak dah.

a loner? of course not. when nobody is surrounding me, when nobody cares about me, it's time for me to get along with HIM. HIM who always cares, listens, never tired, never sleeps, and everything belongs to HIM.

i always talk to myself, that i still have HIM. tapi tetap sedih dengan keadaan diri sendiri. having interpersonal problems maybe. ok, saya ada masalah dengan ini. tak reti nak bergaul maul dengan manusia. saya just macam ni je, "aku tengok kau, kau tengok aku", then lari.

sedih sungguh life macam tu. haha. walaupun dah belajar subjek communication in university when i was in semester 5 lebih kurang setahun yang lalu, tapi still masih tak dapat diterapkan pada dunia luar. ok, jangan gelak.

sayang, tak semua orang ada kelebihan untuk bergaul dalam masyarakat. and saya adalah salah satu makhluknya. bukan jenis tak ambil tahu, tapi jenis tak reti nak tegur orang. selalu mengharapkan orang tegur saya dulu. haha. kelakar kelakar kelakar. eh, cuba awak jadi diri saya ni, then, awak tahu apa rasa jadi macam ni.

i've tried to improve, to move on, but, it's just hard. i am a type of person who loves to walk alone, being independent by walking by myself, and looking at the people who enjoying their life, while i am only enjoying it through them. eh? haha. entah, saya suka tengok kehidupan orang lain, tapi bila tengok diri, eh, sedih pun ada. haha.

i always follow my mother whenever she goes out somewhere. for what? because, i want to get a space and time where i can have my time to people, to meet, and to know a reality world.

Allah swt has perfect timing, never early, never late.

It takes a little patience and it takes a lot of faith, but it's worth the wait.

We don't know what tomorrow holds, but we know Who holds tomorrow.

:D